|Pidgeon death ruled suicide
||[Apr. 18th, 2005|06:11 pm]
Police autopsy reports on Paul "Piggy" Pigeon, were released today stating that all evidence points to suicide by self-inflicted bludeoning. The shocking death of Mr. Pigeon came just three days after the release of a quite violent book entitled "How to Kick a Pigeon in One Easy Step" The books authors, Jonathan Pitts and Will Allured were previously suspects in a criminal investigation over the pigeon's death but as of today, all charges have been dropped. When reporters asked Mr. Allured about the incident, he said simply, "I hope the door came out all right." |
Police reports also explained that Mr. Pigeon had wandered haplessly into the room of one Charles Warren Davis IV in search of some soothing sounds and when he found that nobody was home, he quickly began searching the room for alcohol. He soon sank into a depression on finding the cabinets empty and rammed into the door, breaking his own neck. One neighbor said, "When they found the body I could hear someone screaming 'There's blood everywhere, what do I do?"